Why is it good to hear an opposing argument?

An open mind is rare these days.  Many people make up their minds before even hearing another position.  It’s become increasingly common to respond with the first Google posting that supports your position without sifting through the arguments.  Search engines aren’t driven by truth.  They are often driven by advertisement profits, algorithmic biases, and programmer’s political priorities. We often don’t hear the strength of opposing arguments.

This fosters an echo chamber where bad arguments flourish.  Here are some reasons why it is good to hear an opposing argument:

  1. Understand Concepts Better
  2. More Empathetic
  3. Hearing Opposing Arguments Makes Your Position Stronger
  4. Prevents Triggering

1. Understand Concepts Better

Reason involves searching for truth, not scoring points in a debate.  Often, we create a weaker version of the opposing argument in order to more effectively attack the position.  This argument is the straw man fallacy.  This does not properly represent an opposing argument.

Hearing the real argument lets you learn about the position.  You may learn something that you have not heard before and understand the concept better.  You can sharpen the quality of your position or modify your position when the evidence shows that you are wrong. 

2. More Empathetic

Beneath people’s positions is usually a life experience.  People rarely arrive at a position in an empty vat.  Learning about the opposing argument and why someone may adopt the position makes you more empathetic to the position.  (It also makes you far better at keeping friends).

Take for example Obama Care.  A person who is for the legislation may have lost their job or needed to leave the job market to help a sick relative.  Providing free healthcare could have been beneficial. Perhaps, even lifesaving. 

On the other hand, take a person who is against the legislation.  They may have spent twenty years of their life running a one-person business.  If they made too much money for subsidies and are still relatively poor, the legislation could have substantially hurt them.  Their premiums could have gone up over $1,000/month for their family for substantially worse care.  This could force the person to take another side-job.    This could result in the business owner needing to work 60+ hours/week for worse care while someone who is not working gets free care. This would seem unfair.

Understanding people’s life experiences helps you to understand their positioning and help craft a more knowledgeable foundation for your position.

Julia Galef from the Rational Speaking podcast provides a great explanation on why saying “I just can’t understand how anyone could think. . ” shows a lack of insight into other’s opinions. She thinks it’s either lazy and disingenuous. She suggests the phrase is condescending and shows a lack of imagination.

3. Hearing Opposing Arguments Makes Your Position Stronger

The best way to make a strong argument is to make the opposing argument as strong as possible. This makes you comprehensively understand the topic to sharpen your expertise.   This also forces you to address and show error with all the opposing points.  If you can successfully show why all the opposing points on a strong position are not correct, you can be confident that you have the stronger argument. 

4. Prevents Triggering

Regularly, hearing an opposing arguments helps prevent your blood from boiling.  Simply put, you can control your temper better. 

Everyone thinks that they are even keeled in an argument.  However, most people are not.  As for myself, there are certain topics that I can feel my heart race.  This makes your arguments weaker, makes you more defensive, and makes you more likely to fall into rhetorical traps.

Although righteous indignation has its place, ask yourself, how often has the person who lost their temper made the stronger augment?

Usually, Never.  You are just dumbfounded on how many points you forgot to make or how silly you looked.

Regularly hearing opposing views tends to desensitize you to losing your temper.  You can far more effectively advocate a position.  More importantly, you can arrive at the truth when you calmly can hear an opposing argument. 

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How should we use social media?

Social media can be a waste of time that hurts our self-esteem and amplifies our worse instincts.  We filter through a timeline of mundane details about acquaintances’ lives, links about fads, useless personality tests, and advertisements.  Excessive time spent on social media is neither emotionally fulfilling nor a good use of time.   Used properly, social media can be a great source of information and a door to new community. The question is not if we should abstain from social media, but how should we use the technology to make us happier and better people.

Less Social Media Gives You More Quality Free Time

Take a moment to account for how much time you spend on social media each day.  We need to identify the problem before we can explore a rational solution. Can you go a couple hours without checking your phone? All the 5-15 minute chunks of time reading about things that you do not even remember at the end of the day add up. That time can be spent with our loved ones, developing interests, and exercising. Not to mention getting a good night sleep. Learning how to limit your media consumption will let you better use your time.

Putting Down Your Phone Fosters Genuine Human Connection

Genuine human emotion does not fit into 120 characters. Excessive reliance on social media erodes human connection. Writing ‘happy birthday’ on a social media platform is a poor way to show someone that you care. Explaining how isolated you feel during lock downs, sad you feel after a romantic relationship ended, or disappointed in your career isn’t captured in a quick chat message. We need to look someone in the eyes and spend time face-to-face with them. Sadly, many people prefer typing in their phones to face-to-face contact.  There’s something essential missing when we don’t take time to connect to others. Taking time for connection is a rational way to prevent some of the nasty dehumanizing side-effects that we all feel.

Social Media Can Hurt Your Self-Esteem

Carefully crafted profiles do not give a realistic impression of other peoples’ lives. People tend to post only the exciting events in their lives such as vacations, promotions, weddings, and babies.  They also selectively choose their most attractive pictures that make them seem interesting and popular. People rarely post about divorces, bankruptcies, miscarriages, and losing their job. This makes you feel unpopular, unattractive, and like you are the only one who does not have good things constantly happening in your life. This hurts your self-esteem. No ones life is as good as their social media implies. You can pretend that you don’t see it, but you are only lying to yourself. Taking time for a more balanced life, lets you know that you are normal and ground your self-esteem in your real-world accomplishments.

Use Social Media in Moderation

Use social media intentionally to make you happier and a better person. There’s no hard rule on the number of hours or when to use it. However, you do need to step back for perspective. Ask yourself how you feel after going on certain applications and using them for a certain amount of time. If it doesn’t make you happier, don’t do it.

Social media should be a source of information and help connect your with others. The platforms can help you develop interests, find like-minded people, and events in your local community. When it stops doing that, you should make a plan to correct it. It can feel like an addiction, but you have to do it anyway. You will feel and think much better. Take a look at my tips on how to rationally deal with emotional challenges.

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What is the rational response to emotion?

When we face a new challenge, unhealthy emotion can distort our view of reality.  Often, we are not self-conscious of our emotions twisting our perception. Unlike healthy emotion guided by reason, unhealthy emotion is an inebriation. Realizing that we have lost control is usually a sign that we are back in control. Nobody wants to eliminate emotion; we just want to keep it check. What is the rational response to emotion?

Here is what I recommend:

  1. Identify and accept the emotion.
  2. Explore a more rational way of feeling.
  3. Brainstorm how to respond and then act.
  4. Forgive yourself and others.  You’re only human!
  5. Take pride in the decisions you make.

Step 1: Identify and Accept the Emotion

Consider this a self check-up.  Don’t judge yourself!  Whatever you’re feeling just identify it.  It’s ok!  Take a deep breath and assess what the emotion is doing to you.  Realize you are not your emotion.  You can choose what you do with the emotion.

Step 2: Explore a more rational way of feeling

Life is not fair and often does not live up to our expectations.  Ironically, sometimes not getting what you want is a gift. Our shortcomings provide a chance to change, improve, and build self-confidence. Having a challenging life builds resilience, persistence, and resourcefulness.

Getting lost in false hope, a memory, or an impossible dream is counterproductive.  It does not help you move forward to a positive goal that you can achieve.  Acting under the emotion will usually give a subpar result that makes the situation worse. 

Take a moment to ask yourself, what should you rationally feel.  You probably won’t feel that way.  At first, it may seem silly.  But, just acknowledging it has value.  Each time you don’t feel that way, kindly remind yourself of how you should feel.  Realize your brain is acting under the influence of the unhealthy emotion.  How would you advise a friend, if your friend were in your situation?  Repeating to yourself how you should feel eventually helps to conform the feeling.

Step 3: Brainstorm how to respond and act

Consider options that you would usually take, new options, and keep an open mind to any suggestions from others.  Then, look at the likely outcome for each of these paths.  Ask yourself, are you the type of person who would take that particular action?  Is that your desired result?  Take the best action!

Step 4: Forgive Yourself and Others. You’re Only Human!

We all constantly make mistakes and have emotional baggage.  Learn from your poor choices and do what you can to make amends. Don’t let your anger consume you and change who you are. Remember to be kind to yourself and be generous with pardoning others.  As I discussed before, everyone faces their own challenges. This is not to excuse bad behavior.  But, there is an element of pity for a person who acts immorally or makes a poor choice.   Besides, only a noble character who is secure with their position can grant clemency. Forgiveness lets you move on and focus on the future.

Step 5: Take Pride in the Decisions That You Have Made

Lastly, be proud of yourself.  You made a rational response to emotion. You faced a difficult situation and acted in the best possible manner.

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What is the Difference Between Reason and Rhetoric?

A person with an open mind answers questions by following the evidence, not by fitting facts into an established narrative.  Accuracy involves letting go of the need to prove what you believe is correct.  Avoiding narratives and rhetorical techniques is needed to clearly view the world.  What is the difference between reason and rhetoric? 

The Two Types of Arguments

The division between reason and rhetoric goes back to ancient philosophy.  Aristotle described two areas of argument:

1.) Dialectic – An accurate and correct argument from systematic reasoning. This is what we associate with reason.

2.) Rhetoric – Persuasive argument involving emotion, the credibility of the speaker, and logic.

Dialectic responds to questions with dispassionate discussions aimed at verifying observations and making reasonable deductions.  Dialectic accepts the facts and conclusions without regard to if you like them. 

Rhetoric uses speech techniques and engages emotions to defend an established position or narrative. Persuasion is not open-minded; its aim is to convince you of a position.   Being able to change your mind is needed for accuracy.

Supporting Narratives Means You’re Not Open to New Information

The use of rhetoric and supporting narratives often point to strongly held values, beliefs, and emotions.  These are very sensitive areas for most people and are often part of our identity.  People tend to defend their values, beliefs, and emotions rather than being open to new information.  This motivates people to construct facts into narratives to protect their values and identities. 

Values, beliefs, and emotions are good things.  However, they need to be informed by accurate information.  Constructed narratives are signs that you are not open to contrary evidence and changing your mind.  They stand for determining what is true before hearing the evidence, not determining what is true based on the evidence.

Are you a Scout or Soldier? 

Julia Galef, the host of the Rationally Speaking podcast, had a TED talk and recently published book discussing the difference between what she calls a Scout and Soldier mindset. This Scout archetype is a symbol for seeking accuracy and changing an opinion when contrary evidence arises.   The Soldier archetype is a symbol for defending an entrenched position despite contrary evidence.  Julia argues that rationality involves a Scout mindset.  The archetypes are useful models.  It can be helpful to ask if you are acting like a scout?

When anyone presents a position, ask yourself are they using rhetoric to support a narrative?  Do they selectively cherry-pick facts, while ignoring other evidence?  These are all signs that the position is not based on accuracy, but a predetermined position.  Although rhetoric is useful to convince people to change a position, reason is the best way to assess accuracy of a position.

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What is reason and why should we follow it?

Everyone thinks that they are reasonable and the person they are having a disagreement with is not. We realize reason is useful for achieving our goals and describing the world. We all want to have it, but we don’t want to be a computer! We acknowledge that emotion is an important past of the human experience, too. But, what exactly is reason and why should we follow it?

Reason can be hard to define. Many scholars tie reason to logic, valid arguments, and truth. Reason can also involve consistency and systematic thought. Sometimes it involves determining causes and identifying fallacies. Reason removes clouded judgment, but does not remove emotion.  

My hope is to make reasoning concepts more digestible to everyday life to help people make ethical decisions. More practically, reason involves thought clarity. Simple ideas like is my argument supported with evidence? Am I appealing to an authority rather than providing an argument? Is there some type of fallacy or bias? When we remove the thought errors, we follow reason.

Let’s take for example, the largest topic in the news, Covid-19. A recent article in the New York Times called ‘Covid Partisan Errors’ discusses a Gallup Poll.  The poll showed the members of both major political parties made mistakes.  For instance, the polling showed that 33% of Republicans believed that without Covid-19 symptoms the virus could not be spread.  Numerous studies have shown the reality of asymptomatic spread.  Similar numbers of Republicans thought Covid-19 killed less people than seasonal flu, which is contradicted by the CDC numbers.

But, before my Democratic readers get a big head, the studies showed Democrats made many errors, too.  For instance, 69% of Democrats thought that there was more than a 20% chance a Covid-19 infection would result in hospitalization (41% of Democrats thought there was a more than 50% chance that a Covid-19 infection would lead to hospitalization).  The real answer according to the New York Times was 1-5%.  Similarly, Democrats overestimated the danger Covid-19 presented to children.  The CDC showed the fatality number as 4/10,000.  Some studies have shown an even lower percentage.

In order to make informed and ethical decisions, we need to properly understand the world around us.  Reason allows us to remove our thought errors and make informed value judgments.  I am not citing the New York Times, the CDC, or Gallup as the trusted authority, but as a resource of information and starting point.  None of these organizations are flawless and without mistake.  Like every organization, they have their own priorities and biases.  Part of why I liked the article is because the New York Times challenges itself and its readers own assumptions.  This is what you should do. The process would be exactly the same for Fox News or other polling companies. Reasoning requires consistency.

We must always be open to new data and new arguments.   We must always ask ourselves, how we know something is true and are we making an error? We should make the opposing argument as strong as possible, in order to test how your position holds up.  Only if you argument holds up to scrutiny, can you have a strong argument. 

This is the journey that I hope to take my reader on. Let’s follow reason to become more informed and ethical people.

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For Everyone You Meet

The last year has been challenging for everyone.  We have all faced the same storm, but we are in different ‘situational’ boats.  Some people lost loved ones or were sick at the hospital.  (Tragic number found here) Some people lived in constant fear of contracting Covid-19.  Others lost their businesses and life savings.  Mental health crises increased, opioid deaths skyrocketed, children were food insecure, and many people missed vital health care screens.  A generation had their life plans ruined. In these situations it’s best to remember the quote usually attributed to Plato, “Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”.

We all had policy disagreements with friends, endured the social isolation, and hated being stuck in our homes.   I was constantly flabbergasted by the risk management decisions that people made and the policies they desired.  I realized people are very bad at statistics and their emotions cloud their judgment.  Some of the preferences may have to do with political ideology and the relative value of autonomy and safety.  However, I don’t think that’s the main issue.

The main issue is that people are in different situations. We are in different shaped boats in different working condition in the same storm. If you are lucky enough to be in a yacht, it’s not wise to lecture the people in wooden row boats with a hole in their boat struggling to survive. If you considered the lockdown easy, consider yourself lucky.

I think most people’s views are colored by their own experiences and situation.   We also tend to understand others experiences in terms of our own.  Some people have never experienced something similar to what others have been through.  They do not realize how difficult it is to be in that situation and lack a point of reference.

My recommendation is to be kind.  This requires a certain humility to acknowledge that you do not know everything.  You see merely a tip of the iceberg of what someone experiences. We also need to understand that none of us are experts in everything and objectively know the best policy.  Policy is inherently value ridden with trade-offs.  You can be kind and not lecture someone with whom you disagree.  You can state an opinion and think you are right without attacking someone.

Early on in the pandemic, I met two women.  The first had a sick father who recently had cancer treatment and was doing better.  She desperately wanted to see her father and I could tell that they were close.  She had meticulously avoided contact with anyone for over 2 weeks so she could go visit.  When a pipe unexpectedly broke in her home, she had to call a plumber.  She was very frustrated about having to start the waiting period over again.  She could not understand why people could be so reckless with risking the health of others when she was sacrificing so much to see her father.

The second recently had a divorce.  She moved across the country just before the pandemic to start over.  When the pandemic hit she lost her job.  Weeks later her unemployment benefits still had not been processed.  She had a substantial allergic reaction to the building of her new home.   No one could figure out the cause.  She had to move out, was living with a friend, and sleeping on a couch.  Due to the lockdown provisions, the doctor’s offices would not see her to determine the allergy. 

This left her jobless with the government not allowing her to get a job, homeless with the government not letting her find a home, sick with the government not allowing her to see a doctor, and depressed because dating was nearly impossible under the lockdown conditions.  She wanted everything to re-open immediately and return to normal.  This was not out of a lack of knowledge about Covid-19.  She has a master’s degree in public health.  For her situation, re-opening now was critical to prevent permanent damage to her life, which policy programs would not be able to repair.  

These are two people who want very different policy.  Whoever you think is right policy wise; you can certainly understand why the other one desired a different policy.

Since we only see the tip of the iceberg, remember to be kind.  Reason tells us that we do not know the other person’s battle and we all are in different situations.  It’s unreasonable to assume that they will tell us all of the details.  We do not perfectly understand public health, economics, government and mental health policy.   When we look at the situation clearly, we would want to be kind.

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