The last year has been challenging for everyone. We have all faced the same storm, but we are in different ‘situational’ boats. Some people lost loved ones or were sick at the hospital. (Tragic number found here) Some people lived in constant fear of contracting Covid-19. Others lost their businesses and life savings. Mental health crises increased, opioid deaths skyrocketed, children were food insecure, and many people missed vital health care screens. A generation had their life plans ruined. In these situations it’s best to remember the quote usually attributed to Plato, “Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle”.
We all had policy disagreements with friends, endured the social isolation, and hated being stuck in our homes. I was constantly flabbergasted by the risk management decisions that people made and the policies they desired. I realized people are very bad at statistics and their emotions cloud their judgment. Some of the preferences may have to do with political ideology and the relative value of autonomy and safety. However, I don’t think that’s the main issue.
The main issue is that people are in different situations. We are in different shaped boats in different working condition in the same storm. If you are lucky enough to be in a yacht, it’s not wise to lecture the people in wooden row boats with a hole in their boat struggling to survive. If you considered the lockdown easy, consider yourself lucky.
I think most people’s views are colored by their own experiences and situation. We also tend to understand others experiences in terms of our own. Some people have never experienced something similar to what others have been through. They do not realize how difficult it is to be in that situation and lack a point of reference.
My recommendation is to be kind. This requires a certain humility to acknowledge that you do not know everything. You see merely a tip of the iceberg of what someone experiences. We also need to understand that none of us are experts in everything and objectively know the best policy. Policy is inherently value ridden with trade-offs. You can be kind and not lecture someone with whom you disagree. You can state an opinion and think you are right without attacking someone.
Early on in the pandemic, I met two women. The first had a sick father who recently had cancer treatment and was doing better. She desperately wanted to see her father and I could tell that they were close. She had meticulously avoided contact with anyone for over 2 weeks so she could go visit. When a pipe unexpectedly broke in her home, she had to call a plumber. She was very frustrated about having to start the waiting period over again. She could not understand why people could be so reckless with risking the health of others when she was sacrificing so much to see her father.
The second recently had a divorce. She moved across the country just before the pandemic to start over. When the pandemic hit she lost her job. Weeks later her unemployment benefits still had not been processed. She had a substantial allergic reaction to the building of her new home. No one could figure out the cause. She had to move out, was living with a friend, and sleeping on a couch. Due to the lockdown provisions, the doctor’s offices would not see her to determine the allergy.
This left her jobless with the government not allowing her to get a job, homeless with the government not letting her find a home, sick with the government not allowing her to see a doctor, and depressed because dating was nearly impossible under the lockdown conditions. She wanted everything to re-open immediately and return to normal. This was not out of a lack of knowledge about Covid-19. She has a master’s degree in public health. For her situation, re-opening now was critical to prevent permanent damage to her life, which policy programs would not be able to repair.
These are two people who want very different policy. Whoever you think is right policy wise; you can certainly understand why the other one desired a different policy.
Since we only see the tip of the iceberg, remember to be kind. Reason tells us that we do not know the other person’s battle and we all are in different situations. It’s unreasonable to assume that they will tell us all of the details. We do not perfectly understand public health, economics, government and mental health policy. When we look at the situation clearly, we would want to be kind.
